In latest discovery by French scientists it has been recorded that God, in much of the United States population, has been denied and there is now a way for the “human race” to become God themselves. Following one man here in America who has accomplished this feat gave the public something new to look forward to in the few days to come. The beginning of this transformation began just before he, now “He”, started preparing for the Masters; setting the trend early along side Jesse James and Brad Pitt. In recent attempts to reappear in human form, tied to more than a dozen women, Woods now commercializes Himself with his dead father’s voice in the background in attempt to touch down on solid ground releasing some of the pressure of all his newfound followers. Many other attempts to become God have been made previously mostly by athletes but have never fully achieved it such as Tiger. “Swimming was my life,” said Phelps. “But I have to give credit to Tiger, he certainly took the better sport.” Phelps’s failed attempt may have left him higher than the rest, but certainly not to the level Woods has reached.
The now all-powerful Woods stated that, “Once the world catches wind of how to achieve such power, soon there won’t be anything to talk about.” Adding, “It ‘s just like the IPod, and soon like Saturday morning cartoons.”
In other news: One man in Chicago who got caught cheating on his wife now pays 1600.00 dollars a month in alimony and is only able to see his children once every month. In this world reactions to one situation will be recognized differently for those who are “above” others.
No comments:
Post a Comment