Marcos: Satire Paper

Cops Receive Get Out Of Jail Free Cards
Chicago , Il— Mayor Daley announced today at a press conference that all police officers were to receive get out of jail free cards. These cards were to be used in case any Chicago Police Officers were to get in trouble. The cards don’t expire and they can be used on multiple occasions. Police officers were ecstatic about the news and eager to put their cards into use.
Mayor Daley explained that Chicago Police Officers were free to serve and protect the people without fear of breaking the law themselves. “There were many complaints about Chicago Police Officers violating rights and laws. Now that Chicago’s Finest have these cards, I’m sure it will boost moral for the officers and stop the complaints about police violations,” the Mayor announced. Mayor Daley sent his regards to the legislation for voting for this fantastic bill.
The Chicago Police Superintendent, Jody Weis, was joyful to hear the news. “The Get Out Of Jail Free Card program is going to be a strong asset to the force. We have always worked hard to make our police officers law abiding citizens but now with this program, we have one less thing to worry about,” Weis announced, onto gratified reporters. The Superintendent proclaimed that police moral would certainly surge and would help the police fight crime. Superintendent Weis also sent his salutations to the legislation.
Officer Jack Daniel, who has served as a Chicago Police Officer for the past 10 years said that “I am very grateful for these Get Out Of Jail Free Cards. It gives us more freedom.” Officer Daniel confessed that he in the past had problems with DUIs. “Now that I have my card I’m free to drink and drive when I feel like and I don’t have to worry about any DUI!” proclaimed the officer.
Officer Chris Brown, who is now on this 5th year with the force said “ These Get Out Of Jail Free Card are great! I’m very appreciative to the Mayor and Superintendent for giving us these cards.”Officer Brown has many past violations against him for domestic violence. “I am glad I don’t have to hassle with laws anymore. They are total headaches” he said. Officer Brown was anxious to put the card in use. He also reassured us that other officers wouldn’t let these cards go to waste.
The people of Chicago were confident and cheerful about the new Get Out Of Jail Free Cards program. “The legislation to the police officers agree this is a good idea so why shouldn’t the people?” shouted Karl Dense. Mr. Dense is a long time resident of the Chicago area and he agrees with the new privileges to the officers. The majority of Chicagoans agree with this new program. They believe that the cards would drop crime rates and allow officers to pursue the real criminals of the city.
This program would take effect next Tuesday. The Chicago Police Department has already issued the cards to their officers. Cities like Los Angeles and New York are also passing programs like these in their cities. New York City is said to issue their cards to the NYPD this month. Los Angeles is said to issue their cards to the LAPD this upcoming June due to technical difficulties.