ELEVEN SECTION: Haffey

CPS Reports 100% Graduation Rate From Former “Worst” Schools
August 20th, 2012

Today, the Chief Executive Officer of Chicago Public Schools, Ron Huberman, announced the success of the newly established Take-All-The-Money-From-The-Schools-Who-Deserve-It act. In just one year, the TATMFTSWDI act essentially reversed the poor attendance and dropout rates of some of the city’s worst public schools. Schools such as Robeson High School and Fenger Academy both jumped approximately 650 ranks in this single year, vying for the spot as the number one in the state. "At first, we thought someone was fudging the numbers," Huberman said, "But after a very careful, thorough review, my staff and I have determined that these schools are, in fact, graduating 100% of their class." John Johnson, the valedictorian and salutatorian of Fenger’s class of ’11 had this to say, “When I was a little kid, growing up was not exactly the easiest thing, but with all my hard work and determination, I was able to succeed.” When asked about his experience with the change involved in the new act he said “Yes, I did struggle when the TATMFTSWDI act was put into place, and it was unfortunate to see so many of my fellow peers relocated to worse schools like Walter Payton or Northside Prep because they could not handle the now-rigorous course load.”

Jodi Armstrong, a teacher at Robeson High School shared her thoughts on the act. “I have been a teacher at Robeson for 4 years now, and since the act has been passed, my job has become much easier. Five students are much easier to keep an eye on.” Jodi had considered quitting her job after being assaulted with a deadly weapon for the fourth time in the school year before the TATMFTSWDI act was in effect.
Walter Payton and Northside Prep, two formerly outstanding city schools, have dropped gracefully to the bottom of the rankings, and many believe this is due to the inherent drop of funding. CEO Ron Huberman had this to say about the issue “If the students at Northside Prep and Walter Payton were so smart, they could have thought of their own ways to fund their schools. Obviously we were mistaken.”