Two Section: Guzman

Heart Shaped Prison

Due to the high cost to keep terrorists on Guantanamo Bay, the U.S. Government has decided to relocate the prison to New York City. The prison will be built on ground zero to reduce cost for demolition and will use the original foundation that was partially recovered from the World Trade Center. Due to budget cuts the prison will not include any steel objects such as bared doors, locked windows, fencing, alarms, cameras, guns, and to reduce cost for laundry the prisoners will be able to wear clothes donated by local thrift stores.

The U.S. Government’s design for the new structure will be designed as a two story heart shaped building. Officials and residents question not only the apparent odd location but as well as why is the building heart shaped. The Architect Osama Bomblandin explains “the building is a symbolism of the strongest muscle and also the building is designed to look nice and peaceful so that the public doesn’t feel threatened by it…” Many New York Residents say they feel uncomfortable regardless of the shape of the building. Ivonna Getkilled, a New Yorker states “I feel like scared! They moved deadly terrorist right into our city! And on top of that: They put them ON TOP of the place where many of us lost our lives, friends, and family! What the hell were they thinking!?” A U.S. representative replied by sending Ivonna an AK-47, with an American flag drawn on it and the words “My friend, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it. -Barack Obama” inscribed on it.

Though many worry for the safety issue, the U.S. Government says not to worry because the detainees wouldn’t have relatives visiting them and the prison would bring jobs to the city. “The high tech gear, the extravagant systems are needless to say, unnecessary; we can survive with a big stick with a nail on it!” Joked the warden of the new prison, Joe Daidiot.