Two Section: Patzan

Poor Little Rich People
By Brian Patzan

With the economy going horribly bad and the unemployment rate going into double digits it seems as all is lost for the wealthy.

Drastic measures will be taken in order to survive.

Due to massive budget cuts, oil owners will be reduced to only pre-ordering next year’s Mercedes models and owning small mansions with only nine bedrooms and three pools.

Due to economic prices, Oprah will have to cut back and move to a smaller island a few miles off the Bahamas.

Eddy, a plastic surgeon, says “I now have to give up my Bentley for a Porsche and possibly move to Hawaii to afford a good tan.”

With the way the economy is going, these multi-millionaires will have to refine themselves to only remedial luxuries.